Russian Dorm Bathrooms...and a poll.

Alright, so living in a Russian dorm is not idea. Not in my dorm anyways. I live on the 5th floor with about 25-35 Chinese students. We have one kitchen with 5 burners (out of 16) that really work, one shower and 4 toilets.  The shower key is on the 1st floor and at least 30% of time no one knows where the key is.  I am, however, used to all of this and it all seems quite normal anymore.  And even the bulk of this post I've become accustomed to, though I wish I hadn't.

If you know me at all, you know I'm a pretty big fan of awesome toilets, especially when they're immaculately clean.  Well the toilets here are not spectacular nor are they ever even remotely clean.  Out of the two on my side of the dorm, one doesn't flush, neither has a place to put toilet paper and none of the bathroom doors on my floor lock. This means when you hear someone coming your way, your hand shoots out to grab and keep that door shut like Mr. Miagi snatching that fly because knocking in the dorms never happens.


But like I said, I've gotten quite used to it and where it once bothered me, it no longer does.  I am, however, constantly amazed by how often the other guys in the dorm seem incapable of actually USING the toilet instead of the seat, floor and walls surrounding it.  Now again, this no longer bothers me, I'm used to it, but it never ceases to amaze.

It seems that something is preventing them from using the toilet properly and I don't know what it could be. This conundrum has bothered me for sometime and kept me up late into the night or more than one occasion.  

Beautiful Decorative Toilet and Bidet Picture Collection By Mosaiko

beautiful decorative toilet and bidet is a toilet design which hidden and not visible from the outside. This beautiful decorative toilet was created by mosaiko. This toilet is covered with handmade ornaments. There are several color options like a shiny gold color, pastel purple, brown, and various other colors.
Toilet is very suitable to be combined with sink and shower in your bathroom.[via]

The Creature in the Bathroom

For those of you who know may, your first assumption will likely be that this is going to be a fairly disgusting blog post, but as with many posts as of late, I've fooled you yet again!  It will not be disgusting, at least not for many of you, however it is quite so for myself. For those of you who REALLY know me, then you'll certainly know what my greatest fear is and understand where I am coming from here.

I woke up this morning a little worse for the wear (stomach jihad is an inescapable impossibility when traveling - okay so it's a little gross, sorry).  But that's not what bothered me.  What I saw was something else, something that scared me infinitely more and sent a stream of shivers down my spine; the kind you feel when you're in a dark, damp basement all alone and your imagination gets the better of you.  What I happened to see was, or what I believe to be, a friggin enorgantongous (my own word - think enormous/gigantic/humongous) spider smashed on the wall.

This is a little more than disturbing to me.  My two biggest fears are 1. spiders and 2. going to prison (my true ultimate fear is a prison where all the inmates are horrible, horrible spiders...*shudder*) and while I have no intention of going to prison anytime soon, it is slightly more difficult to limit my contact with, and exposure to, spiders.

I. Do. Not. Like. Spiders. And to be perfectly honest, should one these horrid creatures, these spawn of Satan make its way into my room and/or anywhere near or on my person while I am unaware of it, I'll be out of Russia faster than you can say Perestroika.  I will disappear faster than a dissenter from the days of the Soviet Union.  Gone.  Vamos.  Из России, поняли?

I hate spiders so much that when I'm driving a car and there's a spider, I cease to drive the car.  My whole existence at that point is focused on removing that beast from my presence and I would sooner die in a fiery crash as my car careens off a cliff, exploding with movie-like quality, than let that little 8-legged freak on me.  Yuck. Yuck. Yuck.

Anyways, I just thought you should know, Dear Readers, that if you don't know much about Russia, then know this: there are some truly terrifying things here, lurking in the dark, waiting to spring when you least expect it, as if your worst nightmares have come to life.  Be ready and be afraid, be very afraid....

*Keep in mind that I tend to lie about the size of spiders in much the same way fisherman lie about the size of their catch.*

Elista once more...Laundry and the Squatty Potty

Well dear readers, tomorrow will put me at the week mark here in Russia.  I both cannot already believe it's been a week and at the same time can't believe it's only been a week.  I haven't exactly started my teaching yet and will be doing so in segments as the weeks go by.  It's going to be an interesting experience because for the first several weeks I will be teaching an "optional" class, in English and on American culture, for students who want to improve their English and spending time in various professors' classrooms as they ask me in as a guest speaker/lecturer/teacher/American.  It will be sort of a hectic schedule for a while with not real set schedule, which is a bit unnerving, but I'll have to make due.  Come mid-Oct to late November, I'll start working with Access students, which is 10-14 year old students working on improving their English in sort of an afterschool type program.  Should be fun and quite interesting.

Anyways, update on my living conditions.  I did laundry! Sweet! And better yet??? I didn't have to wash it by hand, which is great because let's be honest; for those of you who know me, if I had to do something by hand, it's likely it wasn't going to get done, which means I'd almost certainly become the smelly kid in class. I mean factor in some dirty clothes with the heat and dust here... fuhgeddaboudit.

I also got a fan for my room.  Strength-wise it kinda feels like maybe a baby fart (that means it's real week and doesn't put out much air), however it seems to be getting the job done during the warm nights, though the last couple of nights have been considerably cooler and it even rained last night.

Now for the big one (no pun intended): the squatty potty.  Bathrooms here are something that I'm still having considerable trouble getting used to, like bringing my own toilet paper everywhere I go.  The lights in the bathrooms in the dorm do not work so we're going in the dark (I'm gonna ask Springsteen or maybe Weird Al to write "Pooping In The Dark") and if Jake Phillips should read this blog....well he can ask me about blind people....   Anyways, I digress so now back to topic.  The bathrooms at the university seem to only be squatty potties, which means no toilet per se, just a hole in the ground and I won't do this.  I just won't.  It's a disaster waiting to happen with scenarios so unimaginably horrible that I don't dare speak of them.  What all this means is that there is an extremely likely chance that, like my previous time in Russia, a serious bathroom disaster is bound to happen only this time it will, in all likelihood, be considerably worse and that is a terrifying thought indeed.

So ponder these thoughts Dear Reader and be grateful, be grateful indeed. Until next time.

Modern and Exotic Luxury Bathrooms Interior Idea

Every house should have a bathroom. Most of us are not too concerned with bathrooms design. In fact, there are other benefits besides the main benefits of the bathroom as a means of relaxation after the move, so the energy and our mood back fresh. Is a challenge to design a bathroom with an exotic style, luxury and healthy.
Usually there is separation of dry and wet areas in the modern bathroom, with a broad and simple design. How to design an modern and exotic luxury bathrooms? Landscaping to blend with the outside space in the bathroom gives a feeling relaxed and refreshed.
To create an modern and exotic luxury bathroom, Prepare some basic elements and some complementary bathroom accessories. The basic elements of the modern bathroom is a shower, tub, toilet. The tub should be of easily cleanable material such as resin, ceramic or marble. Bathroom design with geometric shapes, unique, very luxurious whirlpool baths and one non-whirlpool bath.