1) Do not leave your girlfriend alone in anyplace where she may feel uncomfortable, she will defiantly not appreciate it no matter how desperate you were for the toilet.....
2) If you are in a position to haggle, stand your ground do not pay the first fee they throw at you.
3) No matter how disgusting the local delicacy is, tell the locals it was absolutely delicious.
4) Do not tell your new holiday friends you can play the Guitar, only for a member of the party to track down a guitar. Admit your porky, do not awkwardly scrum out wonder wall, very Badly and out of tune. They will not be impressed, nor will your girlfriend.
5) If you girlfriend asks for lobster, buy it. Do not ask her to pay the cover charge (this actually never happened, honestly)
6) No matter who tells you how delicious caviar is, it is actually a horrible fishy gloop.
7) If you are fair haired, wear lots of sunscreen, don’t put on factor 2 oil because your olive skinned friend does. No matter how much sun you have Dylan you will never be tanned.
8) Do not learn one local word and use it in every single sentence you use when talking with locals. They will find it slightly annoying and so will your girlfriend.
Please Please, if anyone else can think of anything other don’ts, please let me know, and honestly my girlfriend does not have a hard a time with me as may be portrayed above. She is an absolute star and I’m a lucky man.
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